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Monday, June 17, 2002  

AKu bangun awal... AKu kena bersiap sebab ader family member aku kawin.... hmmm kira ader laa bau-bau bacang dgn aku.... budak yg nak nikah nihh umur sama macam aku.. yes 25 thn...Hmmm umur cam aku nak nikah.. shit pressure kat aku lagi... kawin kawin kawin... Aku bersiap dan aku bergerak ke rumah sedara aku... sampai about 9.30am... awal juga kami sampai.. Hmmm makan bihun minum teh.. rilek2 laaa dulu... Masa rilek2 tu ader laa soalan cepu emas... hmmm "eh hang tu ader belum kalau tak mak cik nak rekomen, org Sg Dua." Tanya mak cik aku serius... aku senyum jer tak nak kata aper2.. nasib baik tak ramai org... kalau ader lagi laa havoc.. siap tokok tambah lagi... Ikutkan hati nak jer aku jawap balik... "Errr pompuan kat Sg. Dua tu keje doktor ker?" sure sentap punya mak cik aku :) Tapi aku diam jer senyum jerr
control macho kekeke ...jam pukul 10.30 am kami bergerak ke masjid jelutung.. kat situ acara akad nikah.. berlangsung... Semasa acara akad nikah HP aku vibrater hmm silent mode.. Yus telefom... "Abg kat masjid ,
sedara tgh akad nikah"..aku jawap ringkas.. Nasib baik aku tak emosional kat masjid , kalau tak haru jer... Yus pun letak telefon...... Hmmm sedara aku yg akad nikah tu tak laaa smart sgt ok jerrr... rakyat jelata.... tapi kawan2 dia aiyoooo meletop... nasib baik laa ader yg smart kalau tak mati boring aku kat majlis akad nikah tu... lepas akad nikah.. kami pergi laa kerumah pengantin pompuan.. rumah dia kat area jelutung gak.. Sampai2 dah dekat nak hujan... masuk jer rumah hujan lebat ... nasib baik tadi tak hujan
kalau tak sure hantaran basah.. siap kek hantaran sure ader air.. bila makan tak yah minum air laaaa... Lepas lepak2 tangkap gambar lebih kurang ... kami pun makan tengah hari kat rumah pengantin pompuan... hmmm ok jer lauknya sederhana... nice...

Lepas makan aku hantar hantaran yg dibalas ke rumah pengantin laki.. aku chaoooo... penat laa nak lama2 rimas aku... lagi pun aku nak tgk bola.. Sweden vs Senegal.. Ok lets go back... balik rumah aku rilek2 tgk bola.. hmmm pukul 3pm aku tgk Rosyam Nor dan Nasha Aziz hmmmm lebih kurang cam tu laa aktiviti aku hari nih... Since bola lambat gila nak habis aku teringat nak call Saiful tgk aper citer dia... Aku tau mesti dia tgk bola.... Tepat betul jangkaan aku nih tgk bola ... come on Senegal vs Sweden... Dia cakap pukul 5pm cam tu dia nak keluar dgn awek dia.... aku ok jer.. dia kata awek tu penting gakk.. aku haaa jer laa whatever... I respect his life.. aku
tanya khabar lebih kurang.. lepas tu aku tgk bola lagi... Ake saja tel Saiful sebab aku cuba nak lari dr Yus... Yus dah tel aku... aku terlalu EGO nak tel dia... terlalu EGO... aku nak balas dendam... aku nak sakitkan hati dia... Jiwa aku meronta-ronta nak tel dia.. tapi EGO aku menahan jari aku dr mendail no telnya....

Mlm aku tgk bola lagi tapi tgk tak best laaa sgt.. Ireland vs Spain.... boleh laaa nak tgk...Aku tel member aku tanya pendapat.. entah laaa jiwa aku meronta nak tel Yus.... Aku Is budak Trainee Petronas.. dia tgh practical kat company lama aku... he is nice..yes maybe aku boleh jumpa dia... lama gila aku tak jumpa dia.. since aku adik aku kawin tempoh hari.. rindu gak aku kat dia.. dia pandai urut... Dia urut bdn aku.. aku urut bdn dia.. hmmm
siap belai rambut dia masa tgk tv.. So saper nak jawap budak nih str8 ker aper? Yes he is str8 tapi need attention like so many ppl in this world.. aku tel Is.. he agree nak jumpa aku minggu nih.. tapi sebab bola susah kami nak keluar.. dia selalu tidur rumah aku.. Takde aper2 no sex.. walaupun aku pernah tidur peluk dia... he is a nice person.. tapi tak laaa aku nih nak dia sgt sampai nak main dgn dia.. just utk teman tidur... tu jerr.. lagi pun practical dia dah nak habis.. he is going back to Universiti Petronas tak lama lagii.. therefore aku perlu jumpa dia.. bulan depan 12July.. hmmmm nak jumpa dia laaa.....

Lepas aku sembang2 dgn member aku.. aku decide nak call Yus.... Aku call Yus... aku pun kelu nak cakap dgn dia... pasrah.. bagai nak gila.. tapi aku ngaku hati aku terubat apabila aku dengar suaranya... Jiwa aku meronta2
since last wednesday.. baru hari nih jiwa aku reda.. lepas aku dengar suara Yus... Yus terangkan kat aku dia just nak satu benda jer dr aku.. lain remain the same.... Aku cakap I need to think ahead.. what are the possibilities.... kalau dia boleh suruh aku stop on sex, there is a possibility dia cakap nak jumpa aku terus..... I need to prepare for the worst.. I am a practical guy.. I plan for the worst.. Aku rasa kalau last wednesday cakap tak nak jumpa aku terus maybe aku dah jadi GILA.... "Abg dah byk korbankan buat Yus, Yus rasa budi abg mungkin Yus tak terbalas.." Bila aku dengar benda tu dr Yus.. sedar2 air mata aku berlinangan... Aku memang nak nangis semahu2... tapi biasa laaa EGO aku tinggi buat aper aku nak nangis pasal JANTAN... tapi aku tak boleh tahan... aku terus sebak air mata aku mencurah2... Aku tau Yus ingat budi aku pengorbanan aku... He knows me well..... Aku cakap aku respect his decision nak stop benda nih... come on Yus dgn Abg 2org berbeza.. Kalau yg Ideal Yus minta Abg Stop on Sex , we do it dan just jadi cam biasa balik... just minus the sex... Tapi life is not that simple... Manusia itu kompleks.. tu laa pasal... Yus nak assure aku he is the same .. nak jumpa ker nak keluar makan ker, share masalah ker... all is there for me.. its just he wants to stop on the sex.... Yus tak nak aku pening2 kepala pikir2 bukan2... Aku tau its so simple just stop on sex..
Takyah pikir bukan2 tapi aku tak leh.. aku nak aku nih ready for the worst.... Aku memang need time ... time to absorb.. time to release Yus.. Time to back off......... Time.........


Asam Garam

posted by asam | 11:06 AM
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